Geek vs. Nerd

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A Rediculous Proposal, pt. 2

When last we saw our heroes, I had given up the idea of proposing to Girlfriend on our two-and-a-half year anniversary, not for the sensible reason that we really should be past counting 6-month anniversaries, nor for the more sensible reason that it would be about almost a year before we could reasonably expect to wed, but it was instead due to my almost clincal obsession with doing things unexpected. I had been thwarted by Girlfriend's being suddenly stricken with the "observant" virus (quite possibly for the first time in here life), as well as JS's insistence that if I did show up on Tuesday, I would be proving that all boys are liars. So it is Monday night, JS and Girlfriend are at Wal-Mart, and I'm an hour away at work with 500 yards of red ribbon and a shiny thing in my pocket.

So at this point in my illustrious post-collegiate career, I was working in Technical Support. Yes, I am the guy that asks you if your computer is plugged into the wall because it won't turn on. No, it's not because you're an idiot (although there's a 75% chance you are), and it's not because I want to make you feel like an idiot because I know more about your computer than you do about your children (as demonstrated by your confusion over why you are suddenly getting pop-up ads for pornographic websites when nobody but Timmy has been on your machine). It is instead because the LAST person I talked to today, I spent 15 minutes with trying to figure out her problem before finding out that she didn't see the need to plug in a phone line if she wanted to connect to the internet.

Anyways, this was the wonderful, exciting, effervescent day I was having when I was told all boys were liars and my fiancee actually expected (*gasp & shudder*) me to do something the next night. It was about 8:00 pm on Monday night, and the only other person working at that hour is our Spanish interpreter and Technical Support agent. He had seen the CADD sketches & printouts I had gotten from the jeweler, but not the actual ring. I showed very few people, actually... got into a couple of fights with my parents over it. See, the way I see it is, even though I hadn't given it to her yet, that ring was Girlfriend's. It was hers to have, and it was hers to show off. Now I did show my parents, and I showed my boss at work, who had given me a lot of time off and some relationship advice, and who I really respected and was quite grateful for.

My parents however, considered the fact that their one and only son actually found a woman that could be reasonable expected to say "yes" when asked if she would spend the rest of her life with me, that fact was looked on as little less than a miracle of sweet Jesus. And that ring was something of a Holy Grail, vindicating them to all those individuals who were doubtful of their ability to raise productive (in any & every sense of the word) offspring. No less notable was the fact that their son also designed the ring, and paid for the entire thing himself before giving it to her. And so, they were quite frustrated at the fact that there were not streamers and confetti and 76 trombones in celebration, not to mention the fact that I was not in a hurry to show all of their friends her ring.

So, while Interpreter had seen the drawings and new I was planning "something," he had no idea what. However, he heard in my cubicle getting more and more frustrated throughout the day, and it didn't involved people who had "deleted their spacebar" (actual quote) or whose computers were being "hacked by the CIA" (other actual quote), and he asked what was up. I sheppishly explained my predicament of not being able to propose when I wanted to (the next night), and asked if he minded if I left early. He looked at the clock, shrugged, and said "Sure."

Elation.

And so me, the ring, and 500 yards of red ribbon hopped in my car, and drove to Fayetteville.

...to be continued..

Friday, March 10, 2006

A Ridiculous Proposal

Yes, after a mere 8 months since my last update, I've decided it's time for a new blog post. I know, I'm too productive. So I'll just blame the long delay on Girlfriend. That seems to work out just fine. It really is her fault. If she hadn't made me want to marry her so danged much... ...oh, what's that? You didn't know I was getting married? Psssh.... where've you been for the past 7 months? So it went something like this:

I was actually wanting to put up something suspicious here on the blog, and then pop the question, but I figured she would see through that. So, the weeks leading up to the actual proposal were spent with scheming and planning. First step? Buy 500 feet of red ribbon. Do you have any idea the looks you get when carrying an armload of red ribbon around Hobby Lobby? I dunno if it was just the fact I was a guy buying ribbon, or if it was the 50+ rolls of ribbon in my arms, but something got me several strange, "That doesn't look like a reasonable hobby" looks from other patrons and employees of the craft store. It was fun enough I didn't attempt an explanation.

So I had all my supplies about a week before the intended Date Of Proposal (DOP). The original DOP was supposed to be August 23rd, which was the two-and-a-half year anniversary of our relationship. I have been told repeatedly by various individuals that I respect that I have no business counting 6-month "anniversaries" in a dating relationship, at least none after the first one. That combined with the fact that we technically hadn't dated, since I originally asked her out when I had no money, no car, and we never actually got to go anywhere besides on-campus events. But she had spent the majority of 2 and a half years putting up with, and making me feel like I was the only man on planet earth, and knowing that chicks dig mushy crap like that, I decided I'd ask on that day.

So we're one week away from the DOP, and I start trying to figure out how to get up there and perpetrate the proposal, which I'd actually had planned out for about a year. However, in hinged on being able to predict where she would be, so as to surprise her. And by surprise, I don't mean, "Oh gee, how sweet, there's a ring in my champagne glass, he wants to marry me!"

I was shooting more along the lines of, "Holy crap, how much does it even cost to do skywriting over the Whitehouse lawn during the inauguration of the president?" So I began trying to find out where she would be. For those of you in the audience that don't know, she lives an hour away from me, and I worked 'til 9:00 p.m. every day. So I'd have to figure out where she was going to be, and drive up there after work to execute The Plan.

So over the course of a few days, I asked what her Tuesday afternoons looked like, and tried asking a few of her friends if they ever "go together" on Tuesdays. I was hoping to track her down either right before, or immediately after, the Worship service she attended on Tuesday nights at 7:15. Well, we got to the day for the DOP, and her former roomate starts saying how they'd figured out that, since I'd been asking so many weird quesitons, and the next day was our anniversary, that I must have been planning something.

I told Ex-Roomate to leave it alone, that I was trying to surprise her. Instead of trying to convey the exact conversation, I will simply insert here exerpts from the actual IM conversation...
[17:02] ME: So what is she expecting for tomorrow?
[17:02] ME: I mean, if I just came up and went to Christ on Campus, do you think that would make her happy?
[17:02] ER: she's not expecting anything really. she's pretty convinced that you're not coming. but she sort of suspects it.
[17:02] ME: but something afterwards? I get off work @9:00, so mabe we could hang out afterwards.
[17:03]
ER: i dunno. i'm sure she'd like it.
[17:17] ME: Yeah, but then I have to be @ work @ 8:00 Wednesday, hmmmmm
[17:17] ME: Well, I get to see her this weekend, I had some kind of neat stuff planned for then.
[17:18]
ER: i'm just saying a tiiiiiiiiiny part of her suspects something........but she doesn't have her hopes up and she is convinced you're not coming.
[17:24]
ER: and i'm not in the least convinced you're not coming.
[17:27] ME: lol, too many negatives in that sentence
[17:28] ME: but I guess you'll just have to wait and see if my absence tomorrow convinces you I'm not there
[17:29]
ER: boys are only good at two things: being cute (and that is only sometimes) and lying.
[17:29]
ER: and that is all the time.
[17:29] ME: :'( That makes me so sad.
[17:30] ME: You do realize what you've just done, don't you?
[17:30] ME: If, and that's a big IF I'm neither confirming nor denying, I was planning on coming tomorrow, you just pretty much guaranteed that I can't...
[17:31] ME: b/c if (again big IF), I showed up, I simply be confirming that all boys are liars.
[17:31] ME: So, now I CAN'T come tomorrow.
[17:31]
ER: yay!
[17:32] ME: good job, You just allowed your bitterness against this half of the human race to (potentially) affect me, her, and whoever else may or may not have known about what was, or was not, going to happen tomorrow night.
[17:33]
ER: i rock.
[17:34]
ER: and it's not bitterness so much as the truth.

[insert phone call here, I reveal The Plan to
Ex-Roomate, then decide not to come on Tuesday night since they know about it, and ER threatens to shoot me in the face with a bazooka. end phone call]

[18:02] ME: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[18:02] ME: It's final.
[18:02]
ER: JORDAN SOMETHING SALLIS!
[18:02] ME: I'm not coming tomorrow night
[18:03]
ER: NOTHING IS GOING TO BE BETTER THAN THAT. NOW YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE HER A SECOND RATE PROPOSAL.
[18:03] ME: No I don't.
[18:03]
ER: AND I WILL TELL HER THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE CUTER.
[18:03] ME: you would be lying
[18:03]
ER: and that i broke it.
[18:03] ME: you can tell her that
[18:04]
ER: your 2.5 year anniversary is perfect. and i don't matter. so what if i sort of but not really saw it coming?
[18:04] ME: lol, If ANYONE saw it coming, it wasn't original enough.
[18:05] ME: I just have to find something more *creative* and unexpected
[18:05] ME: I could see how much the jumbotron at the football stadium costs :-)
[18:06]
ER: THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
[18:06] ME: but now you know about it, so I can't do it :-D
[18:06] ME: besides, I hate athletics, I'm not gonna share that moment with the freakin' footbal team
[18:07]
ER: THEN QUIT TELLING ME STUFF!! AND WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER??? I WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY, OH I KNEW. I'LL BE LIKE, THAT'S THE CUTEST THING EVER! IF I WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED, I'D WANT TO BE PROPOSED TO LIKE THAT.
[18:07] ME: rofl, you left your caps lock key on :-)
[18:20]
ER: i might actually hate you.
[18:22] ME: Don't get mad at ME just becuase YOU feel guilty for ruining a perfectly good surprise. ;-)
[18:22]
ER: I DIDN'T RUIN IT. I JUST SORT OF KNEW ABOUT IT.
[18:22] ME: ROFL, at least you'll know not ALL boys are liars :-)
[18:24]
ER: all boys are not liars.
[18:24] ME: :-) especially me, but it's okay if you hate me
[18:24] ME: You're not the important one ;-)
[18:26]
ER: especially you. you are a very nice boy. She is very lucky to have you. (and you are EXTREMELY lucky to have her.)
[18:26]
ER: and not so much lucky as blessed.
[18:35] ME: The funny thing, her dad has NEVER told me I didn't deserve her, which is supposed to be fairly universal among fathers.
[18:37]
ER: SHE LOVES YOU. YOU TWO BELONG TOGETHER.
[18:38] ME: I sure hope so. :-)
[18:38] ME: Because that would make me very happy. :-)

So that all occurred on Monday night, and I decided if ER knew what I was planning for Tuesday night, and Girlfriend was suspicious I was going to show up, I just scrapped it. I wasn't going to do something EXPECTED. So what was I going to do?....


...TO BE CONTINUED....