NERD POINTS©: Definitions

I. PURPOSE

At the behest of a couple of friends, I've decided to set down in print a method of tallying "Nerd Points." First off, let me say that I realize there's about a bajillion websites with interactive quizzes to rate your nerdiness; this isn't anything like that. Opinions differ widely on what makes. Some people are likely more accurate than others, but it's still a matter of opinion. If I'd been able to use the "copyleft" image in the title instead of copyright, I would have. I would like for this to be a method for others to develop their own system of rules, which may or may not be the same as mine and my friends.

II. PREAMBLE

A. NERDS -The first thing we must do to be able to provide a quantitative system of accumulating "nerd points," first we must define what a nerd is. In my opinion, the simplest definition of a nerd is recursive, (that is, uses the word in its definition). In my opinion a "nerd" is anyone who willingly calls him/herself a nerd. I realize this is a rather broad definition, but I think it is the truest. Now, I do not discount that one person can be MORE of a nerd than another, or that one person is perhaps a nerd in name only, but this simple leaves us with the task of codifying how to rank one person's nerd status. This is the goal of Nerd Points.

B. NORMIES- I also feel it is worth it to define a couple of things that a nerd is not. Individuals with a very low "nerd point" score AND uncomfortable with calling themself a nerd may consider themselves, for the purposes of this ranking system, a "normal" person (hereafter referred to as a normy). Normies may have a few points; certainly just the fact that you simply enjoyed "Lord of the Rings" or have played "Munchkin" once or twice does not make you a nerd, especially if you are uncomfortable using the word to refer to yourself. One point does not make you a nerd. Two points doesn't either. I will not set a numerical value under which you may consider yourself a "normy;" I leave that for each individual to decide for themself how comfortable they are with own nerdiness, without becoming an entire, full-blown nerd.

C. DORKS - Another category of individuals stemming from Nerd Points is simply an extension of our definition of the word "nerd." If a nerd is anyone who willingly calls him/her-self a nerd, then we need a word for people who are unwilling to call themselves "nerd." More than likely, you know someone who will fit many of the rules, and have a large amount of nerd points, yet they are unwilling to call themself a "nerd." I will refer to these individuals as "dorks." This is the line that ever "Normy" must walk for his or herself. If your nerd point score is low, there is no dishonor in not labeling yourself a "nerd." However, if your nerd point is high, and you are just in denial, then you have entered the world of the dork: awkward and unfit for "normy" society, but unwilling to commit and engage in "nerd" society.

D. GEEKS - Our final category is actually a subset of nerd. Nerdom, as we have defined it, is very broad. It encompasses many different aspects of life, from our job/school activities and hobbies, to our relationships and entertainment choices. That being said, some individuals may rank extremely high in one area, but not as high in another area. This is the "geek." They may have very specific specialized knowledge in one particular area, say the Marvel Universe or particle physics, but never could get through an extended edition DVD of Lord of the Rings. Again, I must say that, if they are willing to call themself a "nerd," they should be welcomed into the fold. They should not be looked down on for not being as much of a "nerd" as others; their specialized knowledge is a boon to them. I simply do not have the ability to award points in any specific category that I do not fall into, so any geek other than a comic book or computer geek would not receive a proportional number of points.